Assistant Beauty & Health Editor
Assistant Beauty & Health Editor
Hannah Frye is the Assistant Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a B.S. in journalism and a minor in women’s, gender, and queer studies from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. Hannah has written across lifestyle sections including health, wellness, sustainability, personal development, and more.
Photo by Emmanuel Hidalgo
July 15, 2023
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Making friends as an adult is hard. Gone are the days you can run up to a random person on the playground and say, “Want to be friends?” to trigger a lifelong friendship in seconds. For this reason, it’s important to consciously flex your socializing muscles so you feel more comfortable making quality connections (which are necessary for optimal health).
Great news: On a recent episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, leading happiness scholar and New York Times bestselling author Gretchen Rubin shares one tip you’ll want to have on-hand, especially if you’re headed to a social event solo any time soon.
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Walking into a party alone? Try this
Let’s say you’re attending a party and show up way before your friends arrive, a work event without your colleagues, etc. Chances are you’ll feel a bit more nervous about the pending social interactions. In fact, you may not even know where to start.
Luckily, Rubin has some advice: “If you don’t know anybody, a great way to connect is to comment on a shared sensory experience,” she says. “This is something that you both share in the moment.”
According to Rubin, this technique works because the other person already has a point of connection with you. “It will tie you to the moment together,” she adds.
Below, a few examples from Rubin to get you started:
- “I love this song, but I don’t know the name. Do you?”
- “Those hor d’oeuvres look really good. Have you tasted anything? What should I try?
- “What a beautiful flower arrangement! I can smell the lilacs from here.”
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A word of wisdom: Do your best to comment on something positive, rather than critiquing your surroundings or other people in the room. You never know who could be the event planner, owner of the house, partner of that person over there, etc.
The takeaway
Making friends as an adult can be challenging, especially when you attend social events by yourself. To make mingling a bit easier, approach someone in the room with a topic about your common surroundings or experiences. With this tip in mind, you’ll likely calm your social anxieties and feel inspired to make more quality connections.
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